


A New Look

by uv_duv



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28362885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uv_duv/pseuds/uv_duv
Summary: Set during the events of On the Run. With Laszlo gone, Nadja is forced into a desperate situation: letting Guillermo do her makeup.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 35
Collections: non-denominational winter celebrational fandom gift exchangional extravaganza





	A New Look

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedapilot/gifts).



“ _ Arrrrghhhhh!!!” _

Nadja hurled her Nokia cell phone away from her after it refused to take her photograph yet again. It hit the taxidermy goat she hated— which was just as well, she figured— before clattering on the wood floor of her crypt.

“Hmph. Lot of good that did,” her doll snipped from her spot on the couch.

“Oh shush! You still have a reflection,” Nadja griped. She balled her hands into fists and pounded her own thighs in frustration. How was she supposed to do her own makeup when the portable telephone only took pictures of the wall? She had carefully traced the beginnings of a line on her eyelid but had no idea how it looked. 

And she had scrubbed her face to oblivion the night before, ruining Laszlo’s work, to erase any reminder of Colin Robinson’s horrid kiss. 

_ Where the fuck was Laszlo?! _

She felt the sting of tears again but screamed in frustration rather than pointlessly cry and have her own doll point out how pathetic she was being. 

“Nadja?!” a concerned, feminine voice yelled. 

_ Oh, Gizmo.  _ She was surprised, but not  _ that  _ surprised, that Nandor’s perpetually depressing familiar flung her door open. Rather rude, but she was too depressed herself to address it.

“I thought--you might have, well, nevermind,” he stammered. The tempo of his heartbeat was wild and he could hardly catch his breath.  _ It was one flight of stairs at most. Such a layabout of a familiar. _ His eyes were wide with concern under his large spectacles, flickering over her sorry state. It was a wonder he could see at all. 

“...Are you okay?” he finally asked. 

_ I must look absolutely dreadful, then,  _ Nadja thought, if even he could tell, with his terrible eyeballs, that something was off.  _ How have I sunk so low? _

“No, I am not okay! How could I possibly be okay?” she shrieked, “My Laszlo is gone forever and now I can’t even put on my own face!” 

Curling her lips in displeasure, she looked at her own hands and realized that her nail polish was beginning to chip too.  _ Damnit! Damnit!!! _ She grimaced, holding back the tears that threatened again.

“Such a drama queen.” Nadja didn’t have to look to know that her doll was rolling her eyes at her with an insufferable little huff.  _ Tiny bitch. _

“Oh, h-hi? Who is that?” Gizmo asked, ever the polite boy he was.  _ He really took after Nandor in some ways.  _ Nadja didn’t remember him having much in the way of manners when he started.  _ Like a puppy that needed to be house trained. _

“Ignore her,” Nadja sighed, struggling to think of something for Gizmo to do that might make her feel better. Nothing came to mind. The silence was getting awkward and the doll hummed, drawing attention to it further.

Finally, Gizmo stepped forward and said, “I could do your makeup for you,” in a gentle voice.

He closed the door behind him and sat on his knees in front of Nadja, surveying her makeup stash spread across the floor. In the past, she would send her and Laszlo’s old familiar …  _ Joopy?... The one the Baron ate... _ numerous times to the Ultra shop with coupons from the mail and the poor old biddy hadn’t known the first thing about makeup, but had bought whatever there were discounts for.  _ Thorough, at least. _

Nadja dragged a finger over an Urban Decay eyeshadow palette called Stoned Vibes. That had been one of their favorites, both for the appropriate brand name, and because who didn’t want to look hot enough to be stoned to death?

A lump gathered in her throat again. Usually Laszlo did this.  _ Laszlo... _

She frowned at Gizmo. He was a poor substitute. “You? I am already husbandless, I don’t want to look like a clown on top of that.”

“It’s true, nobody loves a husbandless clown,” her doll drolled. Gizmo looked offended, which warmed Nadja’s heart a little. He was a sweet, if stupid and rather dour, boy.

“That’s not--” Gizmo shook his head and sighed before he said whatever he was going to say to the doll. He turned back to Nadja and looked at her meaningfully.

“I’m… actually pretty good at makeup,” he said with a little chuckle.  _ Uh huh. And I am a world renowned boxing fighter. _

“Hmm. I quite doubt that, but I will judge. Do your face first and then show me,” Nadja commanded powerfully and not at all feeling like a sad-sack, attracting the pity of even a lowly familiar. 

“I’ll need to grab a mirror,” he said, perching his little hands on his thick thighs to sit up. 

“Use mine. I cannot wait to see both of you make mockeries of yourselves,” the doll scoffed. She gestured with her head to a hand mirror on the couch next to her.

“I’m not going to let him do mine if his looks bad!” Nadja exclaimed.

“Wake me when he is done then,” the doll droned, closing her eyes and collapsing against the cushion. 

Nadja held the mirror for him as he set to work. He explained that he had been something called a “goth”, or maybe “goff” in his high school days.  _ Good for him, going to the high school and not the low school.  _ She had always admired Laszlo’s education and was surprised Gizmo had any. 

It was strangely soothing, watching his chubby hand apply silver eye shadow across the rim of his eyelid in a practiced, fluid gesture with one of her makeup brushes. Fishing a tissue from his pocket, he wiped off the powder before selecting another. He layered a darker grey in the crease, smearing out to an inky black at the furthest corner. Blending with a delicate ring finger, he stuck the tip of his tongue out the side of his parted mouth, which was surprisingly cute. 

Nadja found herself watching him intently, the absolute focus of his eyes on his own reflection quite entrancing. He was surprisingly graceful in a way she had never noticed before, certainly not in his chores. She seized the opportunity to really look at his face up close. He did have a nice dramatic brow, she could admit that as he dragged black mascara across his eyelashes. They framed his bright, brown, often pathetic, puppy eyes. It was just hard to really notice them under his glasses, which he had folded and placed in his cardigan pocket.

“I usually stopped here for school, but I could do lipstick too.”

“Everything!” Nadja insisted.

He smiled and picked through her pile of lipsticks for one of the darkest shades she had. It was also one of her favorites.  _ Good taste. _ Again, she watched the boy carefully line his mouth first, the tube of lipstick held between his thumb and forefinger. Then he filled in the rest slowly, worrying his lips together and then sucking on his index finger. He had a rather pretty mouth. 

“What does that do?” she asked curiously as he sucked on his finger.

“It keeps your lipstick from getting on your teeth,” he explained. She was impressed, she hadn’t seen that particular trick before. Laszlo just licked it off for her, usually. 

“What do you think?” he asked, sitting up straighter and looking at her bashfully. It was strange to admit, but he was actually strikingly handsome. She blinked at him, wondering for a moment if this was really Nandor's frumpy familiar or if he had somehow been swapped out with someone who had style. But no, his image stubbornly remained in front of her. The side-parted chestnut curls of his hair contrasted with his silver eyeshadow. The black liquid eyeliner was clean and precise, drawing even more attention to his warm mahogany eyes. The dark burgundy lipstick highlighted pouty lips. It was quite the look.

She supposed he had his charms after all.  _ Perhaps there is an actual reason Nandor holds on to him? _

“I… wow. Okay! I would not have guessed, but you are quite skilled, Guillermo.”

“Thank you,” he smiled wide and genuine, his eyes crinkling with it.  _ Quite rare. _

“So then, I was thinking maybe I can do something similar for you, a smokey eye with a berry lip?”

“Do not put smoke in my eyes!”  _ Maybe this was a mistake,  _ Nadja thought.

“No, no,” he chuckled, “It’s what I did on mine. It’s just really blended eyeshadow, so it looks like smoke.”

“I see…” Nadja said guardedly, still skeptical. “Will Nandor be looking for you though?”

“I doubt it. He’s reading in his crypt and asked to be left to his stories. Honestly, I’m glad I heard you. Colin Robsinson has really creeped me out since that whole thing with his clones."

Nadja felt her grip around the mirror in her lap tighten as she averted her gaze and gulped. 

"Yes…" she said quietly, barely above a whisper as she blanched at the memory of Colin Robinson's desperately unwanted kiss.

Guillermo reached a plump hand towards her, but seemed to hesitate. It saved her the hassle of snapping at him. 

"Nadja? Are you okay?" he asked, his little hand hovering between them, curled into a concerned claw. 

"Oh, Guillermo…" Nadja moaned pitifully. "He tried to kiss me and it was just awful." 

Guillermo's face transformed from gentle worry to something harder. Sharp and solid like steel. Nadja could not recall a time he had ever looked so focused and even threatening. It reminded her of Gregor, when someone had impugned her honor.

"Nandor?" he asked in a serious, dark tone.

"No, no, goodness he would never," Nadja snickered at the very thought, shaking her head. "I would shred his flesh into hair ribbons if he ever tried something like that."  _ Outside of an orgy, of course. Or the occasional threesome.  _

"I'm afraid it was much worse. Colin Robinson," she said, baring her teeth and frowning in utter revulsion. He had smelled like stale wood chips, mildew, and overbearing chemicals, like the bathroom of a cheap gentleman’s club. 

Her doll stirred and added, "Me too. It's like having drywall try to court you."

"Jesu--Jeez. What the fuck..." Guillermo looked at both Nadja and her doll with a mix of disgust, anger, and sympathy. 

"It was truly heinous," she said, shivering and hunching her shoulders. The new Guillermo that had been revealed to her seemed significantly less vulnerable than the one she was used to, but nonetheless she felt compelled to warn him. 

"Do not let him catch you alone…" She placed a hand on his hefty shoulder, briefly. Very sturdy boy.  _ Even so. _

He held her gaze again and smiled a little. "Thanks, Nadja. I won’t." After a beat, Nadja returned his small smile, patting his shoulder. 

"What do you think about this for your eyes and then this for your lips?" Guillermo asked, pointing to a warm taupe shade of eye shadow and then a raspberry red lipstick. She nodded, placing the mirror on the ground and closing her eyes, craning her head towards Guillermo.

Warm fingertips spread the eyeshadow gently, patting and dragging pigment across the delicate skin of her eyelids. It was nothing like the cool touch of Laszlo’s hand.  _ Maybe that was for the best. _ A soft brush blended the eyeshadow and then tickled as another swept away flecks that had fallen on her cheeks. She lifted her brows to hold her eyelids in place as he carefully drew steady lines with liquid eyeliner. It was soothing, his attention, his patience, and she found herself listening to the steady tip tap of his heartbeat as he worked. She wondered distantly if this was how Nandor always felt.  _ Why did he get to have someone so loyal? _

“I really wish that all of them treated you better,” Guillermo said unexpectedly, as he was lining her lips. 

She couldn’t risk speaking and having the lipstick skid across her face, but she frowned and lifted an eyebrow in confusion at his words.

“I wish Colin Robinson, Nandor, and Laszlo were better to you, is all. I’m sorry,” he shrugged, his eyes still on her lips as he filled them in.

Nadja stared at him as he twisted and recapped the tube. “What are you apologizing for? You should never apologize for the actions of pig-headed men."

She rubbed her lips together and sucked on her own finger, like he had, regarding him from her hooded eyes. 

“...And what do you mean by Laszlo?”

Guillermo looked at her with a wry expression. “Well, he did abandon you instead of settling a debt that was probably like, twenty dollars… I’m just saying, you deserve better. You deserve to be fought for. At the very least, you deserve an apology.”

Tall words for a familiar she had hardly noticed before now, but the boy wasn’t wrong. Laszlo would sooner fuck a complete stranger than concede a debt. _It wasn’t exactly the first time he had strayed from her side._ The thought made her stomach curdle like sour goat’s cheese.

But Laszlo had always returned.

“Well… thank you. Although, you’re one to talk,” she taunted with a smirk.

_ Strange.  _ He blushed and looked away at the taxidermied rabbit, tugging on his own sweater sleeves.  _ Well, it is rather embarrassing to let yourself be treated like garbage,  _ she supposed. 

In the silence that stretched between them, a gnawing doubt made Nadja’s chest tighten.

"What will I do if my Laszlo never returns?” she asked the ceiling. “Try to fall in love with Nandor? The conqueror of my village? The reason all of the fields were fallow and we had to subsist on roots and barks?" She dropped her arms onto the folds of her skirt dramatically, despairing at the very idea.

“Have you tried being more pathetic and sad?” her doll snarked from the couch.

Guillermo glared at the doll. “Laszlo will come back. You’ve been married for centuries, after all. It’s only been a few days.”

“But what if he is dead? I don’t know if Nandor has said, but there have been all of these rumors, vampires disappearing… It is just like before we left the old country, before things got very bad,” Nadja shivered, remembering the peasants with their torches and their crucifixes and their crowds. 

Guillermo blinked, his gaze drifting past her to nothing in particular for a moment before snapping back with a small shake of his head. “You can’t, I don’t know, call to him through the ether? However that works?”

“You don’t think I have tried that? He has not answered my pleas!” Nadja yelled dejectedly. She choked back a sob. “Oh, Guillermo, I can’t be stuck with Nandor for an eternity, I just can’t. And there is no one else. Gregor is still lingering as a whiny ghost, so he’s no good for at least a few decades. Simon is burnt to a crisp, my Tophie is a feral zombie, even my little Jenna left me! Oh, what will I do? And don’t say anything about me being pathetic!" she screeched at her doll with a threatening finger before she could open her mean plastic mouth. 

Guillermo took her hand. She almost flinched at the warmth of his fleshy palm, nearly feverish with heat. 

"I mean… I could be your friend."

Nadja immediately thought of the time at the hospital, when Nandor had called Guillermo his friend, how funny and embarrassing she had thought it at the time. Her lips split into a sideways grin.  _ But… would that be so bad? To have Guillermo as a friend?  _ She could certainly imagine letting him do her makeup again.

Before she could say anything, however, Nandor’s booming voice crashed through the house, practically shaking her bones.

“ _ GUILLERMO! I AM NEEDING YOU RIGHT NOW!” _

\-----

Guillermo dashed down the stairs to Nandor’s crypt, so fast that his heart almost felt like it was going to burst.  _ Had more assassins come?  _ It had been months, but he thought for a moment that they had attacked Nadja earlier… Of course it would actually be the one time he let his guard down.  _ Nandor… _

He sprinted down the hallway with no concept of what weapon he would even use, single-mindedly fixed on getting to Nandor. As he whipped the door open, he was enormously relieved to see Nandor standing by his coffin, pawing at his mouth.

“Can you believe that Colin Robinson tried to kiss me? Fucking guy!”

Guillermo stared at Nandor, struggling not to picture Colin Robinson’s paper dry lips brushing against Nandor’s mouth, when Nandor tilted his head at him.

“What is with your face? Are you in a rocking band now? When were you going to tell me?!”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Exchangional Haz! Hope you like. ;)


End file.
